Fort Mill. Place of legend, a land of mist and shadow where anything could and probably will happen. Every year thousands of people vanish there without a trace. Also, they have the Peach Stand, so that’s kind of nice. And now they’ll have Robot Johnson.

We’re going to be doing a few shows in the near future, with the first one on 9/9/10 @ 8pm at the Comedy Zone (w/i Madisons on the Corner). Yes, this is in fact the area near Tega Cay. Have you never HEARD of Tega Cay? Well that’s fucking unfortunate, because it’s the place where only the most gangsta of people live. You can’t even get in there unless the pennies in your loafers are shine and the head facing outwards. You will get your ass shot and thrown back out to the dregs of Knightsbridge if you don’t come prepared.

We sure as hell look forward to seeing you and whatever other people you can convince to come out with you. It’s Fort Mill. Anyone who got our humor already moved out to San Francisco to be gay or Portland to be ironic. Or they got pregnant with like 8 babies and spend their days hating everyone else as they wait tables. Whichev.

-OddBot

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Okay, I’m officially upset. All of my gay friends on the west coast refuse to return my calls. Apparently they can’t be “bothered” to return a goddamn phone call or email or twittereetamabob. Because they’re dicks. Which is not a reference to them being gay, just a reference to them being assholes. Also, not a reference to them being gay, it’s just really lame that they can’t be bothered with manners.

You know what, they don’t deserve all this vitriol. They probably all met nice fellas or something. Someone not named Sky.

I’m happy for them. I’m happy for them all.

I just wish they’d call, so I’d know they were safe. I’m totally not even looking for fashion advice, either. I’m plenty fashionable. Craig on the other hand is practically the least fashionable person I’ve ever met (I’m not even qualifying it with gay). He still wears pants. Pants went out of season like last season. Everyone knows that this season is all chinos and running sarongs.

Look, I’ve got to go run and pick up some stuff. I’m having some of my socks tailored and they will totally screw me over if I’m not there on time.

Anyways, if you’re not doing anything on Saturday, you should come out to CAST Theatre on Central and catch our new show. It’s the Back to School show. It’s all themed to encourage children to want to stay in school so they don’t have to end up a bunch of comedians with degenerate characteristics. Also, if your kids don’t stay in school they’ll each legally be assigned one gay friend. You don’t want that, do you?

-OddBot

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Let’s not lie. I haven’t blogged recently because I’m lazy. It’s not because I’m off banging my hot super-model girlfriend Mrs. Page 63 April 2005. It’s not because of my day job. It’s not even because I don’t have something to write about. Just lazy.

Hey, speaking of lazy I ran into your mom.

Anyways, we’ve got a new show this Saturday at CAST. It’ll be pimp. PIMP! Or just really awesome. Whichever.

We had fun this last weekend with the callbacks from our auditions. Thanks to everyone who has shown up for either part of it. To the two of you who scheduled a time but did not show up, we hate you and seethe silently with rage. Your insolence will forever fuel our rage-driven comedy. Thanks.

We’re going to be doing our show at CAST Theatre at 10. This promises to be a fantastic show because I said so.

-OddBot

PS: More week in thrifty coming up when I feel like writing for these awesome pictures! Woooooo.

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So, we’ve done lots of classy stuff over the years; Robot Johnson started Charlotte’s now famous Feed a Street Urchin charity banquet. We place our coats over all sorts of puddles whether they be mud, beer or urine. We practically invented the combination Beer Helmet / Opera Binoculars. Now, we do perhaps our classiest act of all.

We open up for Othello. That’s right, Othello, like the one you could have learned about in school but no, you had heard that the movie for Romeo and Juliet featured full-frontal nudity of some hot actors, even if they had like 70′s hair or whatever and you had to watch that one.

We’re working w/ Collaborative Arts Theatre (who is running the Charlotte Shakespeare Festival). Die hard followers of Robot Johnson (our significant others and lonely shut ins, mostly) will remember our work with them for Sitcoms Live! a few years back, for which we won an awesome Metrolina Theatre Association Award and a okay hand-job from an MTA judge. We don’t know for a fact that our work here will get us another award, but we can say without a doubt that we will probably get to the end of our show without wetting our pants. Bold statement? Perhaps, and difficult to pull off, but it’s no less than the awesome play Othello deserves.

We hold our bladders for you, Shakespeare. We hold our bladders for you.

Even though the show has many performances this week, we’ll be performing at two shows only. Thursday, 8/12 (we’re on at 6:30pm and Othello is on at 7:30pm) and Sunday, 8/15 (we’re on at 2:00pm and Othello is on at 3:00pm). Admission is free (donations are heartily accepted by Collaborative Arts Theatre, if you’re interested, though). Seating is first-come, first-serve. Show up early and have a great time, yo.

Full details on the show and the festival are available here.

-OddBot.

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Because we like to be artsy fuckers:

-OddBot

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