The Best of All Possible Awards

German philosopher Gottfried Leibniz spoke of the Best of all possible worlds. The best of all possible worlds is one that while not perfect, is the one with the most of the things you like and the least of the things you hate. Or something. There was some stuff about god and good and evil and ponies and lasers, but I kind of space out and didn’t understand it. What I do understand is that the best of all possible awards is the one you win.

So, I’ve spoken before about how awesome we are and by extension how awesome I am. Last night we got some proof by way of winning a Metrolina Theater Association Award for Awesomeness, aka Other Exemplary Performance/Element in the Comedy Category for the work of Robot Johnson last year in Sitcoms Live! which we were invited to do by the fine people at Collaborative Arts Theatre, a group you may know as the presenters of many fine Shakespearian works in town.

One of the directors for Sitcoms Live! was Robot Johnson’s very own Meghan Lowther. Meghan was at the MTA’s last night to accept the award on our behalf and steal as much silverware and dinner mints as it is possible to do. The three actors involved – Brandon Ballard, Jason “Bear” Blackman and Graham Odom – were not in attendance. In truth we were told that our job as comedians was to make people laugh and that we should just sit there and look pretty. Then they closed the door to our comedy-shed and we all went back to crying.

Now, while we may cry at night, at least we can rest our heads on a trophy. Meghan has informed us that it is made of gold, rainbows, kisses and fairy dust. We don’t actually care what it looks like. We’re just happy to get an award for something. Its not often that people in our group get appropriate awards (aside from Meghan who wins awards for her actual acting in real productions and not her very impressive collection of dick jokes, which is a god-damned travesty).

The last three awards won by Brandon, Jason and Graham?

  • Brandon won an award in high school for being voted “Most Hairless Wrestler (male)” on his high school wrestling squad.
  • Jason’s last award was for “Most non-Night Train alcohol sales” from one of his old jobs
  • Graham’s last award was given to him by his parents was when he was 25 for finally going more than a year without getting his head stuck in a honey jar.

In a crueler world, that would be the best awards that these people could hope for. Thanks everyone and especially to Sean and Candice for helping to focus out fury towards the world into a cuttingly ironic homage to the most memorable commercials of the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. We may know funny, but a lot of it we learned by watching you.

FYI: We’ve got a show with a new line up of sketches starting at Actor’s Theatre this Thursday (9/24/09). If you go to see their production of Big Boys on one of the nights we’re performing there, you can go out to the box office at intermission and buy a ticket to our show for $8 instead of $10.


2 thoughts on “The Best of All Possible Awards

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *