Ah, diversification. It’s not just personalities and farmers that have an interest in going forth and being fruitful. Since the Robot Johnson comedy factory is a lot more mobile, we’ve also ended up with a few random gigs that help us branch out and find new audiences. For instance, in addition to playing a gig for a new Charlotte art commune, we’ve also ended up doing a few community service appearances, not for any crimes we’ve committed but for crimes that we may commit in the future, perhaps when we’re too busy being famous to be able to actually do community service (have you tried to do community service and pick out a solid gold two-sided belt buckle? Its a bitch).

We’re now technically a touring company since we’ve got gigs in Greenville, SC now (This Tuesday at 9 at the Gathering Spot). As a touring company that means that we’re going to have to work on our distant, lonely stares and perhaps write a few songs about how hard life is on the road (Kid Rock, I’m looking at you… Hey, Kid Rock, do you hear me? I said I was looking at… oh, god. I think Kid Rock is dead… quick, someone get me a phone, we need to call 911 and give them the wrong address so they can’t save him).

I’m sure there will be times when we get in fights along the road, and perhaps there may even be a David or two that have to be forced into gay prostitution so that we can get enough money to fuel the Robot Johnson Comedy Datsun. But there are a few things that this group can always agree on: Food, drinks and a nice set of breasts.

That’s right. It doesn’t matter if they’re gay or damn near blind or Brandon, we can all agree that breasts are nice. Now, while we’ve all got our preferences: For instance, Sean likes to see breasts he hasn’t had to give singles to see and Luci approaches breasts with either a stun-gun (for them being a bitch) or an afficianado’s eye. Jason looks at them and likes to move around like he’s leading a marching band, while Tiffany just keeps giggling and drawing concentric circles on her napkins.

When words fly and tour bus shivs are unveiled, a nice pair of breasts will make things alright.

But seriously, if Brandon takes my seat again, I’m going to bludgeon him to death with his own lanky adorableness.

Since we all love boobs so much, we’re taking a gig at Big Mamma’s Burlesque show on December 5th, right here at the Visulite Theater in Charlotte. That’s right. We’ll get to have two-thirds of the things we love right there. That’s 66.6%, for the mathematically minded Robot Johnson fan (who probably just rode their unicorn in from leprechaun town, along with the rest of the non-existant things in the world).

I haven’t been this happy at a show since the night my ex-girlfriend showed up with her new boyfriend to show him off and I recognized him as an inflatable doll and Jason told me that there was a manufacturer’s recall on that model on account of being very prone to making people think that you’re fucking creepy. She was never a very bright girl. God bless her double-jointed little cold, dead heart.

-OddBot

Don’t forget, we’re performing in Greenville, SC tomorrow night. If you’ve got any friends in Greenville or near Asheville who would like something awesome to do tomorrow, tell them about us. Feel free to forward them the event invites from Facebook.