Destroying democracy with Charlotte Magazine’s BoB 2010

Alright, so last year we won an award, got to be in actual theaters and started touring. Fantastic. But you know what we don’t get? Fucking respect from the rest of Charlotte. Sure, the Comedy Zone is well known, perhaps because they have whimsically named drinks there. We just have the “Beer” and the “Wine” and (the ever popular) the “Water”. That’s probably our issue. In the mean time, we’ll just have to do this the lazy way and promote ourselves like maniacs.

To that end, we want to see if we can get your help and maybe that of anyone you know who loves us or loved The Perch (us but fatter, greasier, louder, angrier and drunkerer). Charlotte Magazine is having their annual Best of the Best (BOB) Awards. You can read 2009’s reader’s choices and see their selections, but you have to notice the distinct lack of Robot Johnson. Sure, there are other important things going on and awesome choices made, but really? The best performance of the year was Rent? Fucking A, people. It’s a show that’s been around for almost 20 years. It’s had a movie. It’s a touring show. It’s not even Charlotte. You don’t hear me saying that the best cuisine in town is a god-damned Chili’s do you?

And Best Performing Arts company? Children’s Theater of Charlotte. Children’s Theater of Charlotte is a fantastic organization, but do they give you the best dick jokes in town? Well, I’m not sure. But I hope not. Because that would be creepy. Slow-moving van with tinted-windows creepy.

*Sigh* I’ll contain my anger.

Anyways. We need votes. So, please, vote for us. Some suggestions:

  • Best Performing Arts Company: Robot Johnson
  • Best Performance in last 12 months: Robot Johnson debuts at CAST
  • Best Boys Night Out: Robot Johnson
  • Best Girls Night Out: Robot Johnson
  • Best Blogger: Robot Johnson’s OddBot/Graham Odom

    NOTE: You have to fill out at least 25% of the survey for it to be counted.

Yes, I did just promote myself and my group. Do you know why? Because fuck you. That’s why. Sure, the Charlotte Observer has more local government coverage. CLTBlog has a great inward and outward-facing hipster eye towards the city, but I provide you with joy. Think of all we went through last year. The highs. The lows. The lies. It’s fantastic when you read my blog. You’ll notice I didn’t put best Twitterer. Partially because I’m still not sure what the hell I’m doing with that. But I do know what I’m asking here. I’m being awesome.

Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to go back to reading comic books and catching up on some DVR’d episodes of The View.


NOTE: If you’re interested, you can also read an old CM article from when Robot Johnson was just getting started.

5 thoughts on “Destroying democracy with Charlotte Magazine’s BoB 2010

  • Thank you for your frankness. I stopped looking at the BOB because I found that who ever picked the nominees had “shit for taste”.
    It’s political .. just like the silly MTA awards.
    So lets do away with voting except for every couple of years so we can have leaders.

  • Sir, I find your lack of faith in a survey that asks where the best place to buy jeans, mens shoes and what the best gossip/rumor was to be disturbing. Very disturbing.

  • i love shopping at upscale dress stores. I like looking at the owners of 2001 Geo metros and saying “My kick ass dress costs more than your 2001 metro”.

    i’m not sure what couture is though. unless i’m mistaken I saw my first couture in 9th grade at a party. it was beautiful, but poorly maintained

  • Hey, what about me? I wrote the thing that inspired his thing.

    I rue the day that I allowed Frank on my blog.

    Let the blog-vendetta commence.

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