This Just In: Killer Whales Aptly Named

February 25th, 2010 by BabyBot · 5 Comments

Dateline – Orlando, Florida

A trainer at SeaWorld, the fourth least entertaining theme park in America (DollyWood, Tweetsie Railroad and Rape Island being the top three) tragically drowned to death in a killer whale tank yesterday.  Accounts vary but it seems that the whale had grabbed the trainer by the waist, shook her violently and pulled her under.  The orca in question, Tillikum, is no stranger to danger.  In 1999 he was suspected in the death of a 27 year old man which they found floating on the whale’s back.  Tillikum (which in the Chinook Jargon of the Pacific Northwest means “People” as in “My favorite thing to destroy is People”), and two other whales also were involved in the drowning of a trainer at a Victoria, British Columbia, marine park in 1991.

This is serious business.  We’ve got ourselves a 11,000-pound, 22-foot-long SERIAL Killer whale going from marine park marine park and leaving nothing but tragedy in it’s wake.

I think it’s time we call the Street Sharks.

JAWESOME!

-BabyBot

Tags: General

5 responses so far ↓

  • Graham O

    1 OddBot // Feb 25, 2010 at 12:03 pm

    We should probably bring in the Tigersharks (from the people that brought us Thundercats, Silverhawks, BlueMoons and YellowClovers) as well.

    In news that would please Candice, they have a basset hound that transforms into a fish. Presumably so it can drool on people underwater.

  • PapaBot

    2 PapaBot // Feb 25, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    That one Street Shark is wearing weight lifting gloves. Hand safety is important. They bite. They fight. They stand for everything right!

  • Frank Terpitz

    3 Frank Terpitz // Feb 25, 2010 at 1:26 pm

    thank god they wear pants, lest their shark genitals fight evil with all of their might as well.

  • Afrobot

    4 Afrobot // Feb 26, 2010 at 12:54 am

    I think everyone is overlooking the blaxploitation film that both those cartoon’s are based on.
    “Tiger and Shark: Harlem’s Finest!”

  • Candice

    5 Candice // Feb 26, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    I watched that video clip and saw no bassett hound. Sadness. Also, bait and switch accomplished.

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