I love New Years. A whole year of possibilities is opening before you. A whole lifetime of bad choices, bad memories and poor dietary choices behind you. This year could be different. You just know it. And so do businesses; They’re all advertising to you and hoping that your hope is as attached to your wallet as it is detached to your brain.

I like Hulu. They have a helpful service for those of us who gave up on cable and they support some truly great shows. Unfortunately, the people behind their ads and marketing are kind of idiots sometimes (as I’ve mentioned before). But this one kills me. They want you to watch their fitness programs.

In case you didn’t spot it, their ‘New Year, New You’ marketing attempt is supported by….

Yes. The makers of a variety of sausage, sausage products and sausages that are presumably made of other chopped up sausages are sponsoring a health campaign. Mmmm. If you go to their site, you can see their slogan “Feeling the Glow Yet?”, which is a reference to either

• the sausage fat that sweats out through your pores
  or
• the mild hallucination of a glow that descends upon those who have just had a heart attack and are about to die

What I’m trying to say is that sausage makes you fat.

Also, mentioning Hulu’s programming: If you cared for Team America or some older stuff on Adult Swim, you might enjoy their new show: Danger 5.

-OddBot