Mind the Gap

Let’s just pretend that I did my last post just a couple of days ago and not… *CHECKS CALENDAR* …six months? Six? Six fucking months? Christ, I’m lazy. (Apologies to RoJo’s lethargic Jewish friends)

Anyways, the simple bit: We have new shows this weekend, Friday, Dec 19 (8:30) and Saturday, 20th (8:00) at Upstage in NoDa. Sure, you ask why different times each night? I’ll tell you why: Friend of the RoJo crew, Carlos Valencia is recording a standup album after the show on Friday and you could be there! Admittedly, you could be anywhere, seeing as you are alive and possessed of the ability to move yourself from one place to another (wasting time reading a Charlotte comedy group’s blog not withstanding), but you could be at this show. That way when you buy the album later (this argument depends on you accepting that you are going to buy the album), you can be like “OMG! I was totally there in the background respectfully laughing at the appropriate points and not being the sort of dickbag who tries to act up hoping he’ll end up on an album as the audio equivalent of writing in fresh cement!”

So there’s that. Go do that. Now for the next bit. I’m expecting children. And, unlike the time I expected to go to the Sadie Hawkins dance, this is probably going to happen. As a result, I’m not going to physically be in shows for a while. And while this may seem a tragedy to you readers (who are visiting suddenly after a six month absence for some reason), bear in mind that I am a much better writer than I am a performer. Several of my most famous (again, relative) scenes are ones in which I do not speak at all. So, in the words of many a politician and CEO, I am going to be focusing on and spending time with my family. And yes, again, I say ‘children’ and ‘family’ because as with so many other things in life, I have apparently hit the weirdest odds possible and we’re having twins. On the upside, I may be able to get most of parenthood out of the way on the first go around. On the downside, I AM GOING TO DIE BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO RAISE TWO BABIES SIMULTANEOUSLY DIE SUDDENTANEOUSLY.

My wife says I’ll be okay. She also says that I need to shut up and let her rest because her body is currently being drained of precious resources and energy faster than a recently liberated country.

I am going to be focusing on writing, because unlike acting, I can do it at pretty much any time and in my underwear while crying (though I think that was most of an entire movie with Christina Ricci that one time). And blogging. Because blogging is still a thing, right? People do that and not Instagram and Twitter, right?

Anyways, come see the show. I know I won’t.


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