Hiding in plain site

September 25th, 2013 by OddBot · Be the first to Comment

Sometimes, being hidden is difficult. I mean, we live in Charlotte, so hiding is not really something we place a lot of emphasis on. I mean, we have a giant light up penis in the middle of our city and radiant pink towers. We left subtle behind years ago. But sometimes, being hidden is to be desired. A few examples of how not to hide.

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I only noticed the kid hiding underneath because he is not paisley-colored. And yes, I realize paisley is not a color. It’s a colour. There is a difference.

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I realize sometimes a call center has to stay hidden for security reasons. I mean, if I ever find out where Time Warner hides their employees… Or those fuckers at the Butterball Turkey Hotline who think they’re better than me… But seriously… Putting ‘Call Center’ up on the doors doesn’t help. Your employees know where you are. Other people don’t. Put up something like Premier Worldwide Advantage, Inc LLC. No one knows what that shit means.

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And ye shall know the Anti-Chhrist by the mark of the beast. And ye shall know where he doth park by the mark of the beast and the reasonable rates and affordable long-term options (call for details).

-OddBot

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New shows, Promo events for the Blumenthal

September 9th, 2013 by OddBot · Be the first to Comment

Howdy loyal blog readers,

As the literally dozens of you know, we’re running monthly shows at Upstage in NoDa these days and it’s working out for us rather nicely. People can find us on a reasonably predictable schedule and we can enjoy the bit where we don’t have to remember our own show dates when strangers ask us when our next show is and we just say ‘next month on a Friday and Saturday’. It’s much easier on us and marginally not-unhelpful (which is kind of our goal).

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Also, we’ve got a couple of promotional events with the Blumenthal Performing Arts Center to promote the touring show Potted Potter. Potted Potter tells all 7 books of Harry Potter in 70 minutes. We’ll be discussing Potted Potter, Sketch Comedy and Harry Potter in general. There is a lunch & learn event on Wednesday, Sept. 11 (Yes, delightful date) at noon (RSVP here) and one on Sept. 17th at 7pm (I’ll amend the location closer to the date).

If you’re reading this, odds are you have nothing else going on in your life and you can make it to these events. Also, I’ve been told that I don’t relay information in a sensitive manner.

-OddBot

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A new show and reasons why your mother (who is fat) is fat.

July 17th, 2013 by OddBot · Be the first to Comment

Lets get the boring bit out the way up front. We have a new show this weekend. It’s going to be awesome. Seriously, if you don’t know what an awesome show we put on, you really have no reason to be reading this blog (unless you’re my mom, in which case you’re doing this to make sure I haven’t become completely homeless or so degenerate that my prostitute-induced diseases have finally driven me so mad that I can’t read any more). Come to the show. It will complete you.

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That being said, I do not get what some people do with their car stickers. You’ve seen them. The kidnapper to-do list that soccer moms and poetry major fathers put on the back of their minivans.

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What the heck does this even mean?

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This I can appreciate. This person tells other people not only are they lazy, they are an advocate of laziness, perhaps having written a blog about their endurance training up to an 18 hour long couch-riding binge TV watching marathon.

Or they are handicapped.

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Sure, it could be an Autobot… or it could be a Decepticon claiming to be an Autobot. That is exactly the sort of thing a Decepticon would do. Because that’s what they do. They Decept. Its right there in the name.

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I’ve got nothing.

Come on out to the show this weekend at Upstage people. We look forward to seeing you.

-OddBot

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Medicine gone wild

July 1st, 2013 by OddBot · Be the first to Comment

I like pharmaceutical advertising. It’s great when doctors (who help keep you alive) feel that they need to use advertising to convince you to do things. Well, admittedly plastic surgeons and proctologists are quacks who should be avoided like witch doctors. But other doctors are probably¬† okay.

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If you’ve been thinking about having knives put near your balls but don’t know where to start, start with Urology Specialists NC.

And now even regular drug dealers on the street have taken to the equivalent of cold-calling.

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The first one is always free.

-OddBot

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Help me caption these

April 29th, 2013 by OddBot · Be the first to Comment

I try not to do the lazy man’s blog post with just photos too often, especially not ones of my own, but today I explore¬† Fair Use by posting a couple of pictures from the Carolina Night Life folks. I like looking at their photos because they make me happy I don’t drink at the bars they photograph. Any place you have to dress up for that doesn’t also come with a steak dinner is not a place I want to drink.

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I presume the theme of this party was space and that the girl is a sexy astronaut, but I have to say that there is an imbalance of costuming. All of the nerds I know would also point out that even as a space activity suit, her outfit is wanting. Lady, what you need is a cuff with an airtight seal.

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I don’t even know what to say to this one. Do I point out that the guy looks like a young Fred Willard and that he appears to be getting into what I’m sure is an awesome Limbo pose? Do I point out that the girl looks far too sober to be tolerating grinding from an off-duty old west impersonator at Carowinds this early in the evening? Or that the girl in the pink dress purchased it after she tested to make sure that there was at least an angels breath of space between the bottom of her dress and the start of a lingerie show?

-OddBot.

PS – If you drink too much at an outer space party and need to know how to throw up in space… An astronaut explains.

PPS – If you do decide to wear a space suit in a very warm climate while performing on stage, make sure you know what you’re doing.

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